So it's been a few days since Dr. Wang laid me on my stomach and stuck me with acupuncture needles. The initial tenderness and soreness have eased. There are still several large, perfectly round hickeys from the cupping on my neck and back-there would have been more but the deforestation of my back hair will not commence until Monday night.
I did dream I was a dartboard but other than that I haven't had any serious side-effects.
I would love to say that I am all cured and doing cartwheels (I haven't done a somersault since the 4th grade so that more than likely wouldn't happen even if I was in perfect health.) Truth be known, I am hurting today.
Granted I worked hard yesterday. I mowed the backyard, did a load of laundry, and cooked dinner.
Whew! Calgon take me away!
But I'm feeling bad. In other words, status quo. It's sad that's what my life has come to. That even the simplest things wear me down and make me hurt worse. It also scares the shit out of me. I don't want to be unproductive. There are things I need to do.
I have a life to live.
I do have faith in Dr.Wang. You can't help but feel confident. She exudes quiet confidence. And unless she is the World's Great Bullshitter-and in that case needs to be on late night television hawking things that chop and dice-I believe in her faith and her ability that she can-at the very least-provide some relief for me that up until now has been hit and miss and which came from little plastic pill bottles lined up like good little soldiers on my nightstand.
I've been dealing with my health issues for over a year now. I have seen doctors and have gotten my hopes up. There's a fine line between having faith and getting your hopes up, I might.
I have put my faith in people who should have been there for me. I'm speaking of course of the medical professionals who have given me misinformation, withheld information from me, kept me waiting for answers they didn't have, who have been glib about their inability to help me and who have flat out told me they can't do anything for me.
I'm speaking of the medical professionals who are far too comfortable telling me that there is nothing they can do for me and to send me on my way with a pat on the head and a pocket full of pills. Bastards.
And, yes, even though the HEAD of NEUROLOGY told me that it is perfectly normal for a man of 45 to have herniated and ruptured discs in his neck, I am more convinced now that the crux of the problem lies somewhere in the areas of C2 and C3 and possibly even C4.
I can feel it. I know my body. I know what aches and where it aches.
The more time goes on, I can feel that there is something terribly wrong in my neck and that problem is causing the headaches. Perhaps the bulging disc is putting pressure on the nerves that go into my brain. I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I don't even play one on television. But I know my body. Maybe not the mechanics, but I am in pain and there has to be a reason.
I still have this lingering urge to punch someone in a white lab coat. Maybe not a punch. Maybe a good slapping. Something to knock the smugness out of them and bring them back to the reality of "Guess what. You're a doctor. Fix me."
I'm sorry if you think that sounds unrealistic, but it's simple. It comes down to customer service. And I got to tell you, the customer service I have been receiving has been atrocious.
"I would like to speak to the manager please."
This is no way to run a business and frankly that is all medicine has become these days. Big Business. Big business run by the pharamacutical companies. Don't fix the problem, just give the patient more of our medicines. Get him to take 7 different pills and you get the set of steak knives.
Screw your steak knives and while you're at it, screw you too.
I know there are good doctors out there who work miracles every day.
I am just down on the whole industry right now and if I could, I would boycott. I would love to say that I'm taking my business elsewhere, and I guess, in a sense, I have.
I do believe acupuncture is going to help. If anything, it has relieved a lot of the tension in my neck and shoulders. Who knows? Maybe a few more appointments and the pain will go away too.
This wasn't a particularly funny post. Sorry. I'm not feeling particularly funny today. I'm hurting and I'm tired. I don't ever want this blog to be a downer, but it will be honest and, unfortunately, sometimes there is an ugly, sad side to what I am going through.
I try to stay positive. I really do. I think I keep a fairly positive attitude despite the fact that most days I feel like driving my car into a cinderblock wall. It's hard right now.
Have no worries. I'm not suicidal. Really. I've got too much to live for. A beautiful woman to share my life, family and great friends. I'm not checking out any time soon.
I'm going to beat whatever this. I am.
And if not's acupuncture then it will be something else. I won't stop looking for an answer.
And so this isn't a complete downer of a post, please enjoy the following.
Oh Richard Simmons. You scamp. You slay me.
and that's jody with a "y"