Saturday, August 27, 2011


This was the week that was brought to you by Irwin Allen.

We started off with an earthquake and it seems we are doomed to end the week with a hurricane or at the very least, the effects of a hurricane. The winds are blowing today. Hard. At least 30 MPH here in Richmond. It's raining (no complaints here-we need rain badly) and the streets are covered with fallen leaves.
CNN is on in the background and we are watching a myriad of weatherman trying to predict EXACTLY where Irene will touch down and with what force.
Hurricanes are not funny. They are serious business.
What I find funny is how people react to the situation. Like everything else in this country, a hurricane is just another way to increase ratings and make money. I'm surprised there isn't a very special Jersey Shore episode or marathon on MTV. Will Snookie get washed out into the Atlantic? We could only hope. Will the Situation be blown...(wait for it) by the winds and will his plywood like abs protect him from debris? Who cares? I think that's the bigger question.
Irene. Please. Irene is the name of that neighbor who grows roses who always complains about some other neighbor's dogs pooping in her yard. Irene is the name of the lady at work who can get you extra Post-Its and usually has lipstick on her teeth.

So Irene packed quite a punch for a little lady who passes out office supplies.
The power just came back on.
There are trees down everywhere. Everywhere but in our yard.
Thank you GOD.
Up yours Irene!
We hadn't seen Dominion Power trucks the last three days and within the last 4 hours we have seen 4 or 5. Our German neighbor, a little old spitfire with Mr. Magoo glasses, walked up to one of the trucks, garden shears in hand, and asked, "Ven are ve going to have power?"
The driver nervously responded "Within the hour, ma'am. Within the hour."
And wouldn't you know?
Within the hour we had power.

I've learned some things about myself the last few days.

I learned that I will brave 50 MPH winds and flying debris to drive up to Burger King for crappy hamburgers.
I learned that I can't sleep without the fan in our bedroom.
I learned that SCRABBLE a still a great way for families to spend time together. I also learned that having the Z and the Q on your rack is a sign for you to just pack it in and go to bed and that family is family forever, but if you use all your pieces on one word that includes a triple word and score 83 points, those same family members will love you just a little less.
I've also learned that the Charlie Horse is the hardest piece to remove from Sam's body in the game of Operation. DAMNIT THOSE LEGS ARE TOO THIN!!! YOU CAN'T GET A HOLD OF THEM!!! NO FAIR! REDO!!
I learned that the sound of transformers exploding throughout the neighborhood, although blood curling, is still not as frightening as the sound of the snapping of rubber gloves in a doctor's office.
I learned what it's like to have a vagina and that cold showers suck first thing in the morning.
I learned that one leaf is not a problem and that 10,000 leaves are a major pain in the ass.
I learned that I hate going to bed at 8pm now as much as I did when I was 7 and the my pajamas were cuter then.
Sadly, I also learned that people will knock each other out of the way to get to the ice machine for bags of ice. Those same people will grab 6 or 7 10 lb. bags of ice while the people behind them walk away empty-handed. WHO THE HELL needs 70 pounds of ice?
Seriously? You storing bodies in your basement, Boris?

To my friends-on FaceBook and to those I see every day...
I hope you got through the last few days unscathed with no more than a few days without television and hot showers. I hope you all are well and safe.

And you Irene.
Thanks for the high winds and pounding rain. Thanks for power outages and property damage.
Thanks for cancelled parties and improv shows and vacations.
I hope you get explosive diarrhea.

And that's Jody with a "y"
All Rights Reserved

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Hey there. It's been a while, hasn't it?
About six months if my math is correct.

Let's see if I can catch you up on what's been happening with me.

I guess it seems that the last few times I posted, I seemed as if I was on Death's bed, or at the very least, on his couch in a spare room.
At least, that's how I felt. Pretty much every day.
Not too much has changed sadly.
About the only thing that has changed is that I am seeing a chiropractor now. On and off. For the most part Dr. G has given me some relief. If my insurance situation was better and I was seeing him 5 times a weeks, I would probably doing back flips. At least it's nice to dream that I would be. Sadly, my insurance sucks and I'm only seeing Dr. G. about twice a month.
I've lost count of how many MRI's I've had at MCV in the hope of finding out what is wrong with me. I can now bake a potato just by holding it in my hands and I glow at night like a night light.
It's ironic that after all those MRI's it took one black and white X-Ray to show that two discs in my neck are not as they should be. They are in fact rotated to the right and twisting downward. There is also some slight herniation between them. The worse thing about this is that the twisting and downward rotation is pulling and twisting my occipital nerve-more than likely-more more than likely-the main reason for the horrendous headaches that ruin pretty much every day of my life.
One lousy X-Ray.
Of course the X-Rays don't show the tumor that's in my spinal column so there is still no answer-and there may never be until we have Star Trek medicine and technology-as to what it is and what affect it is having on my health.
I may have been born with Orville. Orville may have appeared after some event in my past. We may never know. I could worry about that every day or I can just try and suck it up and move forward. Believe me, there is so much going on right now that I don't have time to worry.
So once in a while I go see Dr. G and he cracks me, pulls me and runs electricity through me. I do feel better afterwards. I don't know where I stand on chiropractic medicine as a whole, but I do think that the negative is that once you start, you have to keep going. 5 times a week would be awesome, like I said, but I'm not in the position to do that.
Yes. The headaches continue. Every day. I have just gotten better at dealing with them. On the Big Ol' Headache Dial of Pain I'm at a 5 or 6 most of the time. There are days when the dial is cranked up to '1o' though and those are the days when I do nothing. It hurts to do anything.
It's amazing what you can put up with on a daily basis.
Millions of people suffer from chronic pain and my heart goes out to them.

I'm done with MCV and I think for the most part, they are done with me.
My last visit there, months ago, was frustrating. So, I guess, in that aspect, typical.
The doctor was half an hour late for our appointment and when he did finally walk into the examination room, he was full of attitude which I called him on.
He told me he was frustrated that they (the people who work in his office) had sent me back to him.
"You're frustrated", I asked, with a little of my attitude, "Imagine how I feel....if you're able...for just a second."
Never poke a bear. A wise Indian once said that.
Never poke a bear that's in constant pain. That one's all mine.
After I laid him into for a few minutes, he backed down, not before, though, he reminded me that he would never cut into me to find the cause for all my problems, adding that any surgery would result in either my death or at the very least, paralysis.
I bet this guy is a laugh riot at parties.
After almost a year of hearing excuses and seeing shoulders shrug and waiting in waiting rooms being coughed on by strangers boiled over and I interrupted him and asked, "Let me ask you, Doc. Is the state of my medical care directly related to the type of insurance I have? If I had A+ Solid Gold Insurance From The Best Insurance Company IN THE WORLD (Yes. That's the actual name of a company....I'm pretty sure) would I have-"
He interrupted...
(Surgeon is Greek for Rude Ass)
He interrupted "We would have probably found an answer a year ago." This profound statement was followed by a blank, cocky stare. Almost daring me to come back with some clever remark.
If you don't know me, let me give you this little tidbit of information on Jody. I have perfected the eye-#$%@ you! And I looked right at him and smiled and met his stare with mine.
I haven't been back since.

I'm Getting Married
So when I say I don't have time for all this headache nonsense, I mean it.
I'm getting married in 57 days.
57 days.
I swear that it was just a few weeks ago when I proposed to my lady, Fawn. We laugh about it sometimes because when I proposed last October, it seemed like October 16, 2011 was a hundred years away. As it turns out, a hundred years these days is more like 60, give or take a few.

I've writing a blog about my experiences as groom and wedding planner. It helps me work things out and believe me, some of the stuff that has happened, you wouldn't believe.
A friend of mine recently told me that he didn't use to believe half of what I told. My stories were just too crazy. That explains the Nah-Get-Outta-Here! expression on his face. Then he experienced the thing that is my magnetism for crazy firsthand. He's a believer now. He stays twenty feet away from me nowadays, but he's a believer.
Here's the address for my wedding blog in case you want to catch up on things.

57 days is gonna go by real fast and I'm stressed right now.
I'm also the happiest I've ever been.
My heart is a very good place. My life has changed and I know that I made the right decision to ask Fawn to marry me.
My mom and dad are thrilled. Most of her family is excited. All of our friends are truly happy for us. We can't wait. It's gonna be an awesome day. You're gonna have to peel the smiles off of our faces with crowbars.

The Other Stuff
Aside from some financial woes and my on-going health concerns, life is good.
Really good.
I'm performing with an improvisational group that continues to attract new fans on a weekly basis.
West End Comedy performs two regular shows a month at HATTheatre here in Richmond. We specialize in short-form improv comedy, much like what you would see on one of Drew Carey's two shows.
This group of performers have changed my life. Working with them and playing with them on stage has been a positive force in my life that continues to make me want to work harder on my craft. Second to the love of my most beautiful fiance, playing with these most talented people has been the best medicine I could have prayed for and believe me, the future looks awesome for us.

Aside from our very popular shows at HATTheatre, we also perform as part of The Capital Ale Comedy-Variety Show presented by Lost Number Productions. Seriously...what could be better than awesome improv comedy and the best beer selection in Richmond, Virginia?

Starting in the Fall, West End Comedy will start a limited engagement in partnership with CenterStage Richmond performing 4 shows at Rhythm Hall.

This is an awesome opportunity for us, for WE, and from there, it really is the sky's the limit for us. For WE.

This past August West End Comedy joined the team of final.revised in creating a movie for The 48 Film Project. I was proud to be a part of this adventure. Working with final.revised on their short film Summer League was a most awesome way for me to combine my love of writing and performing. The film swept the award ceremony on August 14 and is moving on to the national level of competition.

Here's the movie, just in case you wanted some serious laughs. Share it with your friends.

I have never been prouder to be part of something than I am being a founding member of West End Comedy. We have had an awesome first season. We somehow captured lightning in a bottle.
Who knows what our second season will bring?

My illustration work is on the back burner right now.
I imagine that after my wedding I will pick up my markers and begin work again. I'm just too busy right now.
My headaches make it hard for me to sit at my drafting table and work, to be honest.
I've done some sketching but nothing I would show anybody.
I will get back to the drawing board soon (See what I did there?) and make another go at being a professional illustrator.
That would be nice.

It's like I said.
LIFE is pretty damn sweet right now.
I wake up every day next to a lady who makes my heart sing.
I have awesome friends.
I perform improv comedy with some very talented people and incredible opportunities continue to present themselves to us. To WE.

I have no idea what the future has in store for me but then again, the future has no idea what I have in store for it. It better take hold though because I intend to grab it and shake it and make sure it remembers who I am.

Later friends...
Check back every once and a while.

And that's Jody with a "y"
All Right Reserved