Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Bucket of Nickles

The Facebook LIKE button.

If I had a nickel for every please LIKE my whatever I receive every day. Well, let's say I would have a big, ol' bucket of nickels.

Big Ol' Bucket Of Nickles. 
That would be an awesome name for a country band.

Yeah, that annoying LIKE button. It's all a little desperate. Isn't it?

And I've done it! I've sent those desperate please LIKE my whatever requests to people on Facebook. So, I can say that.

It has a dark side too though. Doesn't it? This little blue and white hand with the thumb sticking up.
Sometimes it's more of a negative than a positive. Sometimes it's more a middle finger in your face than a thumb's up.

Well think about it.
You send someone a request.
PLEASE LIKE MY.....(fill in the blank)
Two things happen.

The first is the person LIKE's your whatever. Sometimes they message you. Most of the time they don't. Most of the time, them LIKEing your whatever is like them making an anonymous donation made to PBS during one of those pledge drives.

The second thing that happens is that nothing happens.
You don't get a LIKE. 

Boom! Middle finger! Right in your face!

You stare at the little box that says INVITED. You sign out of Facebook. You refresh the page. You shut down your computer. You put shoes on and get in your car and drive. You don't know where you're going. You just drive. Somewhere far enough that you'll gone be long enough for The Universe to make right.

How long is long enough for that invite to get to who it was sent to?
An hour? Half an hour?

You wait. Then you rush back home. You turn on your computer and open The Book of Face and go to your...and then...you...see...and your hopes fade...

Some people just don't LIKE anything. You look at their page and see they haven't LIKE'd anything on Facebook. Nothing. Not one thing.

It's okay. Really. There's no rule that says you have to LIKE everything on Facebook.

It is surprising when friends don't respond to your requests but again, it's okay. 

WHAT'S NOT OKAY...sorry...let me try that again...

What's not okay is the people who have had your invite in their inbox for a year and haven't responded or done anything with it but continue to send you requests to LIKE their whatever's. 

Balls. It takes balls, but then again that's Facebook. 
The Land of Anonymous Balls. 

Don't send me a request for anything until you at least respond to my request. Nothing. 
I won't like your band or your restaurant or one-night-only reading of Dr. Seuss or whatever. 

That's right! I said it! 
Middle finger right back at you!

And speaking of...

This needs to happen:

And so does this:

I doubt very seriously Facebook will make these options available but a guy can dream.

LIKE it or not.

And that's 'Jody' with a 'y'

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