Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Starts with an "F".....Rhymes with Duck




F***.

Released in 2005, the movie FUCK, uses the word "fuck" 824 times in 93 minutes. That means someone said the word "fuck" every 8.86 minutes.


Released in 2007, Nil By Mouth came in a close second with 428 uses in 128 minutes. Casino, the only movie out of the above three I've seen by the way, used the "F" word 398 times in 178 minutes. I'm pretty sure 300 of those occurrences could be attributed to Joe Pesci's character.



fuck me.
fuck you. fuck them. fuck it. fuck that. fuck this. fuck it all. for fuck's sake. what the fuck? you lousy fuck. wanna fuck? fuck off. fuck up. who the fuck? where the fuck? why the fuck? you're fucked. i fucked up. I FUCKING LOVE YOU. i fucking hate you. are you fucking crazy? oh FUCK.


WikipediA defines the word thusly:
"Fuck is a word that refers to having sexual intercourse; it is used in a wide variety of English slang and is generally considered vulgar."


Fuck is a verb.
Wanna fuck? Go fuck yourself.

Fuck is a noun.
You're a stupid fuck, you know that don't you, Bill? Who gives a fuck?

George Carlin listed fuck as one of the 7 words you will never hear on television.


(i'm gonna stop saying it now. sorry mom.)

Well, you sort of hear it these days-BLEEPED-but you WHAT know the person is saying. So Carlin was maybe-half right? But let's clarify-it's not television actors on shows like House or CSI. No. Its those people on reality television. Seen an episode of Hell's Kitchen? Chef Gordon Ramsey certainly gives the guy with the bleep button a good work out. Ramsey uses the "F" word as just another ingredient as he screams at the chef-testants. I guess it makes for good tv. Makes for a lousy cooking show, but that's not why people watch. They watch to see how many times Ramswy is going to yell at one of the schmoe's (who, honestly, would have a hard time handling an EasyBake Oven) and how many times he says the word f***. I actually heard that college students have turned Ramsey's f***-laden tirades into a drinking game. If Gordon says f***, then you have to do a shot. God I miss college.

Ironically, the "f" in the title of Ramsey's new show on the BBC, The "F" Word, refers to food and not f***. He still curses though. Quite a f****** lot!


Yes. The word f*** is vulgar.

But, sometimes, it's the only word to use when you are feeling a certain way.

Angry? Sad? Happy? Horny? Apathetic?

F*** works for all of them.

There is the shock value, but that's the point. You don't just use the word and not expect to get a reaction. You're using it because you want the people you are addressing to understand that what you are saying is important. You are passionate about your message, whether you are telling someone you love them or if you telling someone to turn down their music.

It's okay. Just don't get carried away with yourself. Because then you sound like a crazed idiot...

HELLO? CHRISTIAN BALE?

Moderation is the answer. Just like with everything else. Don't make a pig of yourself.

F. U. C. K.

Those four little letters say so much. You add the word fuck (or any form of the word fuck) to anything you want to say and you have taken your thought to another level.

You're a genius!
You're a fucking genius!

There is power there, and as Peter Parker learned, with great power comes great responsibility.


SERIOUSLY. PAGING CHRISTIAN BALE! MR. BALE! WHITE COURTESY PHONE.


If someone calls you a moron-you will probably let it bounce off you and you will go on with your life. If someone calls you a f***ing moron-believe me-you are going to take that personally and probably retort with "Oh yeah. Well f*** you too!"


Admit it. It's the first word that comes to mind when you realize that you've driven three hours to the beach and left the cooler sitting on the porch.

It's the first word that comes to mind when that policeman, who has been tailing you for the last twenty minutes-just waiting to pounce on you because you have an expired inspection sticker on your windshield-finally decides to pull you over. As soon as the red lights flash-you say it.


Oh FUCK.


I'm pretty sure the Captain of the Titanic said it. He said it in a British accent, of course, but he said it. And somehow, with his accent, it probably sounded just a little less obscene.


I don't know the origin of the word f***.

Wikipedia lists the word as possibly having Germanic roots.

Ah. Leave it to the Germans. Mozart. Beethoven. The hamburger. Heidi Klum. The word f***. And by the way, it is mere coincidence that those last two thoughts were side by side.

It's funny really that someone researched the origins of the word f***. You're tax dollars at work folks.

I'm not a vulgarian by any sense of the word but I do use the word. If you have never used it and I'm saying NEVER-and saying FUDGE doesn't count-BECAUSE although you said fudge-you were thinking f***.

Would The Sopranos have been as good had Tony used the word fudge or freakin' ? F*** no. The word f*** was part of the fabric of that culture and of those characters. It was as important to the show as the sets and the costumes.


Tony (original dialogue) "All due respect, you got no f*****' idea what it's like to be Number One. Every decision you make affects every facet of every other f*****' thing. It's too much to deal with almost. And in the end you're completely alone with it all. "


Tony (de-fucked) "All due respect, you got no fudgin' idea what it's like to be Number One. Every decision you make affects every facet of every other fudgin' thing. It's too much to deal with almost. And in the end you're completely alone with it all.
"

As far as context in movies is concerned, I appreciate a well-placed f***. It can add to the drama or the absurdity of the situation. I don't like the random, out-of-place usage of the "F" word. It has to have a context.

There are some scenes though, throughout the history of cinema, where the use of the "F" word would have been brilliant.

Clark Gable, in Gone With The Wind, said "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

(And that was considered offensive!)

You know what he really want to say to Scarlett. Don't you?
C'mon. Say it with me.

"Frankly my dear. I don't give a f***."

Felt good, didn't it?

Roy Scheider, as Chief Brody in Jaws, said we what we were all thinking.
"We're gonna need a bigger boat."

You could see it in his eyes though.
"We're gonna need a bigger, f****** boat."

Lazy screenwriting is to blame a lot of the times for the over-use of the word f***.

Don't know what your character should say? What the Hell? Just type the word f***. Believe me, I've seen my share of movies where I became tired of hearing the word. I have. I don't care if you don't believe me.

For some actors, saying the word f*** is as natural as breathing in and breathing out.

I called them the bombardiers.

Joe Pesci is a bombardier.

As Tommy in Scorcese's Goodfellas: "Who the f*** cares? I'll dig the f******' hole. I don't give a f***. What is it, the first hole I dug? Not the first time I dug a hole. I'll f*****' dig a hole. Where are the shovels?"


Samuel L. Jackson is the grandmaster...he's the Obi-Wan Kenobi...sorry. what's that you say?

(Yes. I know he was Mace Windoo in the Star Wars movies. OBI-WAN was on a higher level than Mace-in my opinion. I was trying to make the point that he is a really high-level bombardier. Jeez. Let it go. It was just a movie! F****** geeks.)

Sam's the man. I'm pretty sure that if he ever sent me a birthday card, it would read "HAPPY F****** BIRTHDAY....MOTHER F*****."

Jackson uses the word f*** as any great artist uses their medium. Is it Shakespeare? No. But that's okay. He's Sam Jackson. And you cut him slack. Shit. you'd better cut him some f****** slack, mother*******.


As Neville Flynn in Snakes on a Plane, "Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherf****** snakes on this motherf****** plane!

SIDE NOTE: The only person who comes close to using the F-word as much as Joe Pesci and Samuel L. Jackson do, is Barbara Walters-but she has got to have at least 6 Jack and Cokes in her before she starts straffing the set of The View with F-bombs.

I think the word fuck has become commonplace. Everyone uses it in every day conversation. THAT doesn't mean you can...or...should...go all Al Pacino in Scarface when their..ordering at the drive-thru

"I want a f****ing burger with no f****ing pickles, a f****ing shake, chocolate none of that f****ing strawberry, some f****ing fries and they had better be f****ing hot, and a coke with not so much f****ing ice in it cause last time you put so much f****ing ice in my f****ing coke there wasn't any f****ing coke in it....thanks very f****ing much..."

That would silly. And rude. And uneccessary. So as I was saying, there is a time and place.

There's nothing wrong with it. It has its place. I'm more offended by the word g-damnit. And I really try not to use that one. It's offensive. And you're thinking right about now that it's strange that I would draw a line. There is a line. There is vulgar and there is profane. It has to be handled properly. Saying the word f*** is like farting. You have to know WHERE and WHEN so you don't offend people.

THAT'S MY OPINION.

AND If you don't like it-you can go....

I'm kidding. But you see what I did there? F****** hilarious, wasn't it?

Children should not use the word f***. I don't think its cute to teach little kids bad words.


F*** should not be used in a professional setting.
"Nice f****** presentation, Doug. You wiley f***, you."


F*** should not be used or for that matter tolerated in school.

Unless you absolutely don't give a flying f*** about other people's feelings, you should pay attention to who you are talking to if you are going to say the word f***.

F*** me. I mean. If the world needs anything right now, it is just some good old fashioned manners.

But there is the matter of freedom of speech. This is America. So if you really need to use the word f*** to express how you feel....then by all means....

bombs away!!

I don't know.

Maybe we have all become a little desensitized to the use of the word f***.

We certainly don't live in Victorian times, and between what we see on our computers and on our televisions, there is very little that can shock us these days....aside from the atrocities of war and the horrors we watch on the evening news. So with all that is going on in the world, is it really so bad that we curse a little....or a lot?


I'm just asking the question.

And to be honest....I'm having one of those days today. I'm a little pissed off.

And I just felt like saying FUCK....a whole lot.

that's jody with a "y"

3 comments:

  1. THAT was pretty F*cking hilarious ! <3

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  2. My fave word!! Very well said. Ginger loves to do it as a chicken would, unfortunatly on my front porch..fuck, fuck, fuck,fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,fuck, FUCKER!!! All in a clucking mode. It is priceless!! Now I challenge you to do on the most offensive word to all Britians...and it doesn't start with a K...Fawn knows...LOL..Dennis

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  3. I'm particularly averse to the use of the word in public situations because I prefer to engage in lively conversation and/or debate that does not cross into emotional territory which inevitably leads to a dramatic loss in focus by one party or the other. In private, however, safely behind the bulletproof glass of my car and far from the tender ears of those who might be negatively influenced by the invectives flowing from my mouth, I let loose with all my frustration and anxiety and anger, coloring my world bright and vivid blue, which allows me to regain my composure prior to the inevitable arrival at home. There is a place and time for everything.

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