“First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.”~Steve Martin.
I'm so tired of going to doctors.
I'm so tired of giving blood.
Probably just a little weary of the whole thing are than you are of hearing about it...and reading about it.
I've sat in so many waiting rooms I have an uncontrollable urge to read Better Homes & Gardens. I find myself, these days, getting in the car and driving to Barnes & Noble and...just...hanging out...reading BHG.
Most waiting rooms have copies of Parenting. I don't have kids. There's no need for me to read DEALING WITH THE TERRIBLE TWO's.
Besides...honestly...its just seems wrong.
Back in a waiting room again today...and then on top of that thin white butcher paper. Crinkling. Trying to look inconspicuous.
Luckily no gown today.
There's a check in the positive column!
I'm so tired...so bummed...so sick of taking pills.
I'm sitting here looking at all the bottles lined up. Like little orange soldiers with white helmets.
Wait a minute.
SO HELP ME GOD! If they come to life and start singing that creepy Oompa Loompa song!
So...I was back at the doctors today and not for my back.
Nope. It's something else.
I know. Awesome, right?
You don't need to tell me.
I won't go into any details. The most recent complication isn't life-threatening...at least I don't think it is...nobody's told me it is...that is to say nobody's told me to get my affairs in order.
It's just stupid, aggravating bullshit...just one more thing.
Nobody's fault but my own. I take full ownership.
"Expectation is the mother of all frustration."
Well, if you can't trust Zorro who can you trust.
SHIT. DOUBLE SHIT.
I AM SO FRUSTRATED.
I AM SO ANGRY.
I AM SO LOW.
Today is one of those days when I feel like there is a giant boulder on top of me. I'm feeling very Wiley E. Coyote-ish again.
I feel stalled...like an engine that has seized up.
Nothing seems to be going right...or wrong, for that matter. It's just that nothing seems to be going...at all.
I honestly believe that if I jumped out of 10 story building today, I would somehow manage to miss the ground below...
I would hit the ground, bounce off the ground and do $10,000 in property damage.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I do know that.
It's probably a train...or a mole with anger control issues...but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
There have got be better days ahead.
There's has to be.
There has to be.
"Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble, give a whistle,
And this'll help things turn out for the best, and..."
Trying hard to whistle.
"Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show,
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you..."
Okay. So. I'm not so sure I can whistle today...and whether or not I am looking at or looking for the Bright Side of Life (the jury-please dear LORD not the one with Pauly Shore-is still out) I know tomorrow is another day.
Just in case you were wondering...
This is the Far Side of Life...
And this would be The Dark Side of Life...
I look good in black. Who knows?
It was the poet Gloria Gaynor who said "I Will Survive."
And it's true.
I will survive.
That which does not kill me is just another co-pay.
and that's 'Jody' with a 'y'...
as in 'why' can't we catch a freakin' break?!
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