Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Today is my post-op check-up. 

NOT with my surgeon, mind you, but with his assistant. 
THAT I don't get.

It's been several weeks...several long...frustrating weeks since my back surgery. This will be the first time a medical professional...well...the assistant to a medical professional has looked at me. That's not meant to be a knock against medical assistants...it's just...well...you think my surgeon would stick his head in to say 'hello'...you know...as a professional courtesy. Sort of a "Hey-remember-me? I'm-the-guy-who-had-his-fingers-in-your-spine" kind of a thing. 
I guess that's not how they do things nowadays.
I'm guessing what is going to happen is I will show up and the assistant will ask how I'm doing. I will say that for the most part I am fine. 
A great word fine. Isn't it?
Freaked-out. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional.

I will add that I'm tired of my back brace. I am tired of the bandage on my lower back. It's feels like I have a folded PAMPER taped to my body. I don't even want to think about the tape...my hair...the sticking...the pulling...

I will bring up the fact...since they asked...that my right leg is consistently colder and weaker than my left...that for the last four days I am having trouble lifting my leg...as in walking up stairs. Which means I have to sleep on the couch downstairs...which means I am still averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night which means I'm exhausted...mentally and physically. 

I've dropped about 3o pounds. Probably because I have no appetite. Except for mashed potatoes. What does a craving for mashed potatoes indicate? 

I GOOGLED 'medical explanation for craving mashed potatoes' and the top three search results were:

Cravings: Boy or Girl Pregnancy: Second Trimester Community...
FOOD CRAVINGS: Gender and Differences In Food Cravings

I went ahead and skipped the first two. 
On top of all my other medical problems right now, the last thing I want to deal with is pregnancy...or a menstrual cycle. 

The third result, however, intrigued me. So...I went ahead and clicked on it.

In regards to my question about mashed potatoes, here is what the article said: "In addition, this study (the one mentioned in the article) showed chromosomes play a part in the foods you reach for: Men, for example, find comfort in foods associated with meals prepared by their mothers (e.g., mashed potatoes) rather than from snacks and sweets (except ice cream). 

First off. I must be the exception to the rule. Story of my life. For the record, I would walk barefoot across broken glass and rusty nails to get to a bag of Pepperidge Farm cookies.  

Secondly, who doesn't like comfort foods. The first word of that phrase is comfort for Pete's sake! 

So, in regards to mashed potatoes, I guess it's just me being human and wanting to feel happy. Apparently, at some point in my formative years, I had a really good mashed potato experience. My mother made really good mashed potatoes. I guess Freud was right. It all comes back to our mothers. 

Could be worse I guess. I could be craving baby food. 

Other than those things...I'm awesome. 
Don't I look awesome? I mean...aside from the fact that I look like I was chained to the back of a donkey and dragged up a mountain...don't I look swell?


I'm grumpy today. 
My back is screaming at me.
My migraine has dialed up to 11 and I feel so disconnected from the world I might as well have been living on an island...in a lighthouse. 
Or North Dakota.

Chalk this particular post up to a bad day.
Tomorrow will be different. 
I will clear away the cobwebs and the sorrow.
I will stick out my chin and grin and say....

I'm quoting the musical Annie.  
If only my little red dress wasn't at the cleaners.

and that's 'Jody' with a 'y'
*Copyright 2o13
*All Rights Reserved

No comments:

Post a Comment