Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Today is my post-op check-up.
NOT with my surgeon, mind you, but with his assistant.
THAT I don't get.
It's been several weeks...several long...frustrating weeks since my back surgery. This will be the first time a medical professional...well...the assistant to a medical professional has looked at me. That's not meant to be a knock against medical assistants...it's just...well...you think my surgeon would stick his head in to say 'hello'...you know...as a professional courtesy. Sort of a "Hey-remember-me? I'm-the-guy-who-had-his-fingers-in-your-spine" kind of a thing.
I guess that's not how they do things nowadays.
I'm guessing what is going to happen is I will show up and the assistant will ask how I'm doing. I will say that for the most part I am fine.
A great word fine. Isn't it?
Freaked-out. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional.
I will add that I'm tired of my back brace. I am tired of the bandage on my lower back. It's feels like I have a folded PAMPER taped to my body. I don't even want to think about the tape...my hair...the sticking...the pulling...
I will bring up the fact...since they asked...that my right leg is consistently colder and weaker than my left...that for the last four days I am having trouble lifting my leg...as in walking up stairs. Which means I have to sleep on the couch downstairs...which means I am still averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night which means I'm exhausted...mentally and physically.
I've dropped about 3o pounds. Probably because I have no appetite. Except for mashed potatoes. What does a craving for mashed potatoes indicate?
I GOOGLED 'medical explanation for craving mashed potatoes' and the top three search results were:
Cravings: Boy or Girl Pregnancy: Second Trimester Community...
10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR MENSTRUAL CYCLE
FOOD CRAVINGS: Gender and Differences In Food Cravings
I went ahead and skipped the first two.
On top of all my other medical problems right now, the last thing I want to deal with is pregnancy...or a menstrual cycle.
The third result, however, intrigued me. So...I went ahead and clicked on it.
In regards to my question about mashed potatoes, here is what the article said: "In addition, this study (the one mentioned in the article) showed chromosomes play a part in the foods you reach for: Men, for example, find comfort in foods associated with meals prepared by their mothers (e.g., mashed potatoes) rather than from snacks and sweets (except ice cream).
First off. I must be the exception to the rule. Story of my life. For the record, I would walk barefoot across broken glass and rusty nails to get to a bag of Pepperidge Farm cookies.
Secondly, who doesn't like comfort foods. The first word of that phrase is comfort for Pete's sake!
So, in regards to mashed potatoes, I guess it's just me being human and wanting to feel happy. Apparently, at some point in my formative years, I had a really good mashed potato experience. My mother made really good mashed potatoes. I guess Freud was right. It all comes back to our mothers.
Could be worse I guess. I could be craving baby food.
Other than those things...I'm awesome.
Don't I look awesome? I mean...aside from the fact that I look like I was chained to the back of a donkey and dragged up a mountain...don't I look swell?
I'm grumpy today.
My back is screaming at me.
My migraine has dialed up to 11 and I feel so disconnected from the world I might as well have been living on an island...in a lighthouse.
Or North Dakota.
Chalk this particular post up to a bad day.
Tomorrow will be different.
I will clear away the cobwebs and the sorrow.
I will stick out my chin and grin and say....
I'm quoting the musical Annie.
If only my little red dress wasn't at the cleaners.
and that's 'Jody' with a 'y'
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